YummyMummy

Well I have had a bit of a down day . . . and it has nothing to do with diets or weight but more with me as a person!

I made a promise to myself that i would try and not write an unhappy blog, 1. It will not be very nice to write and 2. It would not be nice to read, and so far - so good until today! I am not going to sit here and lie that my day has been wonderful and all things Fab as that would be false and that is one thing i am not. So here is my First and hopefully Last “ Unhappy “ Blog!

” Friends ” not sure of the dictionary meaning but in my eye’s A ” Friend ” is on the lines of someone who is there through the bad times and share the good times?! Someone who picks you up when you are low and loves your highs, gives advice but does not dictate - you get my drift. Well today i have been through a bit of a sad reality check . . .

I have got few genuine friends , I am not going to say i am perfect because at times i am sure i have been a terrible friend but i can honestly say that i wear my heart on my sleeve - I know what a ” Good Friend ” is all about and would not hurt a single human being no matter how bad they treated me - Hmmm some would call it a Walk Over!

I am not going to go deep into the story as there is so many, all with different so-called friends. But basically i have been used by a recent friend - i feel stupid to even think i was important to them in the first place, but i am no longer Needed and it seems i have served my purpose - a purpose i was stupid enough not to notice! It hurts like a big horrible knot in my tummy. I have been hurt before but i guess my pride is hurt this time too!

I am a very homely girl, like to bring my children up the best way i can, take pride in my house and to be honest can stay at home and enjoy my own company without needing anybody apart from my family, i guess i have learnt to do this through the years of being around people that just seem to hurt me rather than make me happy. I am not a strong person - I hate confrontation and i get taken for granted. I cannot count how many times i have made someone else happy or helped someone when they have needed me even though i have been ill myself or have cancelled something i was meant to be doing etc. Putting others way before me!

Well i have had enough of this Walkover!  I sound a complete Sap :(! I want to change and i want to learn to say NO.

Now normally on a day like today i would of quite happily ate huge amounts of nothing but junk to try and make myself feel better and comfort me, but i can say i did not go down that road today. I kept to fruit for snacking and drank water. I unfortuantly did not cut down on my tea’s and still had three today but the way i am going to look at it is, my cup of Tea was better than a chocolate bar.

I am hoping i am going to wake up in the morning and feel Happier. Tomorrow is a new day and all that jazz!

One other Hiccup and if i say this quietly perhaps people won’t notice  . . . I did not do my as promised yesterday’s excercise. Not good  . . Mr. Motivator needs to come and land in my living room and sweep me off my feet!  No excuse’s - i have felt nothing but sorry for myself today - I need to learn the art of turning bad thoughts and feelings into hard sweaty excercise! I would be a stick by 2010 :)!

Well my Buddy - slim friends . . . sorry for a not very positive Blog but Thankyou for listening !

Keep those cravings locked up and let the fruit loose

xxxxx

I have one thought i really need to get down before it disappears from my mind, I was eating my apple this afternoon at ” My Bad Time ” ( see previous Blog )  when i stopped, looked at my apple and wondered when an Apple will give me the satisfaction that a nice big chunk of Galaxy does!? When will i eat an apple and feel Full and satisfied?? Will an Apple ever make me feel like that? You see at the moment i seem to spend my time trying  to convince myself that the Apple i am eating is making me full and that it is better than a piece of naughty chocolate but it never seems to work! I end up eating the apple and still wanting the Chocolate! . . . . .  Hopefully now i have wrote this thought down when the Apple moment finally happens i can look back and answer my questions and give you all the answers . . . . .

Ok . . . Third Day . . . . Well i kept my promise Guys and Girlies! I am drinking my 3rd cup of Tea as i write this! That is only 6 sugars today! Thumbs Up for me! It was not easy as i had a terrible night with Taylen, i was awake from midnight to four this morning with him, and i resisted the urge to have a Cuppa, that is a real achievement for me! I must admit it makes me appreciate it so much more, and i actually enjoy it rather than just Drink it. Can i do two cups Tomorrow . . . . Hmmmmm ok I will really try! I Promise!

I have come to a definate conclusion though today. . A diet is ten times harder with children around! They are like walking temptation ( no not to eat them! ) but they always want a biscuit or an ice-cream or sweets -  I am constantly having to face ” Naughty ” food and I feel like i am constantly telling myself ” No - No - No ” !  With having an 11 month old too my day as you can imagine is pretty much revolved around food too, whether its cleaning it up from the floor, serving it or trying to encourage him to eat it - all i can say is never has a soggy piece of bread been so tempting :)!

I have been very good with Snacking today . . Not even a Hipp Baby Biscuit , instead two Bananas and an Apple!  I have also had my 8 glasses of water - I have not always been able to drink that much water , on my last health kick i really had to work myself up to drink that much. At times it felt like i was drowning and my tummy was going to burst at other times it just made me feel quite sick. . . But i can answer this. . It gets easier so anyone New to the water challenge - stick with it, you will be guzzling 8 glasses before you know it! ( small print . . . The need to Pee doesn’t get easier but perhaps more rewarding if that is the word ) . . .

Ok Mr. Motivation still has not made an appearence - and to be honest this morning i did not even look. So i have decided . . .  Mr. Motivator I am coming to get you! I am going to do excercise tomorrow! Lol, i actually just re - read that and sighed under breath am i !! But seriously i am - Time for my next challenge and i know i have got to work those inches off! So to make a start i am going to write down my hip and waist measurements at the bottom of this page just so i can hopefully see improvement and keep motivated when the going gets tough!

Ok i am sure i have bored you all long enough with this entry. . .

Keep Smiling and stay strong xxxx

* Waist 30 “

* Hip 37 “

Well it is the second day in, and as it draws to a close i am sitting here trying to reflect on my achievements so far.

Well i have managed to drink 8 glasses of water today, the first time in quite a while.  Apart from the endless trips to the toilet i am in mind already feeling the Healthier me emerge and i am sure my body is feeling the benefit too!

I have also cut down on my ” lovely cuppa Tea’s ” Unfortuantly  my Tea with two sugars is not only a habit but a comforter on bad days with my very demanding little boy, and when i think how many cups i can drink in a day and add up the sugars its not a pretty number! Today i have had four , I know - not brilliant either but i feel i have to wean myself off slowly - so tomorrow i PROMISE just three!  I am not sure i could cut Tea out altogether and i feel the morning and often very early mornings would not be the same or even possible to get through without ” My Cuppa Tea “. Who knows that might change . . . . . I will keep you posted!

My food intake today has been ok, I will stay positive as it was much better than yesterday! I have not had a chance today to look and learn about keeping a accurate food diary, that will be on my To-Do list tomorrow. I had breakfast = 2 slices of toast with Butter - lunch = A bag of Skips and a thin slice of cheese ( i know what you are thinking, that is not a good start, but lunchtime is a difficult one for me, always food on the go! ) and dinner consisted of a chicken burger, 4 smileys and some baked beans. I snacked on a Banana and an apple - no chocolate - Thumbs Up! or Sweets - Double Thumbs Up!  . . . . . But there was a slight hiccup . . . i got very hungry around 3.30pm ( always a bad time of day for me ) and i ate 3 small Hipp organic Elephant Baby Biscuits = You can laugh now, how desperate for something naughty does that sound, lol !  A craving got the better of me and in my defence i had run out of fruit and water was not hitting the spot - no excuses though! I am not to give in to ” The Cravester “, that is now the name for my little Demon voice that never shuts up and always wants sugar!  

Motivation did not wake up next to me this morning unfortuantly! I did blink a few times for it to appear but it was not happening! I have got to get ” Excercise” back in my daily routine! I find it very hard juggling time, what with a very demanding 11 month old little boy named Taylen, A 9 year old little Girl named Tamara,  lack of sleep through teething and exhaustion from daily housework, Excercise is to be honest the last thing i want to be doing when Taylen finally goes to sleep and i have some much needed ” chilled time “. I will work on this though, i know excercise will make me feel so good once i am in the daily routine of doing it - i just need to make the step and start . . . .

So an improvement from yesterday but will do even better tomorrow!

Just a quick note before i go . . Thankyou to the people that have already given me that much needed support and inspiration and for all that take the time out in thier day to read this.

I hope to make many good friends and i promise to be a Good Friend!

I have never ” Blogged ” before, but am hoping it will help me stay focused. . Actually i may aswell be honest . . I am hoping it will keep my fingers busy away from the choccie biscuits and other tasty snacks that always seem to shout out for my louder in the evening !

It’s the 16th August 2009 and am currently weighing 10 stone 2 pounds - this is my lightest i have been since the year 2000!  Something i guess i should be proud of  . . but often wonder why when i look in the mirror i still see the image i was back in 2000 and feel like i have nothing to be proud of!  Learning to love me the way i am i guess should be my first thing on my To-Do list!  Noted to self!

As of today i am back on track - I have got to do this! I would be so angry with myself if i gain all that i have lost since my little boy was born nearly a year ago!  All that hard work gone to waste, and over some 5 minute indulgence of a choc moment that ends up in total guilt and telling yourself that it was not even worth it!

Not sure what my actual diet or excercise ” Plan ” is going to be at the moment, hoping to work that out over the next few days. Motivation is going to have to come in between today and the ” next few days ” . . Maybe that might just wake up with me in the morning . . . 

I will leave it there . . I think i can actually stop writing now and not indulge in one of those silly moments and instead indulge in a glass of water!

If anyone does read this . . Thankyou and i am sorry if at times it made no sense at all ! xxxx